Alexithymia
An aside worthy of mention here was his intervention to help delineate between feelings and beliefs. When at one point I said `I feel neglected´, he feigned astonishment and asked me to show him where I felt this in my body. I couldn’t, of course, because `neglect´ is not a feeling. The term alexithymia (from the Greek a = lack, lexis = word, thymos = emotion) was first coined by the Greek/US psychiatrist Peter E. Sifneos in 1972 after noticing that some patients showed extreme difficulties in talking about their emotions…
Non-Resistance
Some of us try to hold on to a certain static state, presumably out of fear of the unknown. This is akin to going down to the Rhein and ordering her to stop flowing. Imagine the amount of effort that would require!
Well, this is how many of us live our lives at certain times, quietly attempting to dictate the terms of the unfolding of the universe. I lived like this for many years and changed my stance only when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, at which point I had become burned out…
Fruits of Devastation
We shame ourselves when we deny any aspect of our essence. In this dynamic, I had simply emulated those caregivers who, for reasons probably only they could describe (if they were still alive), could not endure aspects of my essential nature, and in order to be rid of their discomfort, thereupon shamed me. Left with the choice of believing that these caregivers, on whom I was totally dependent, were mistaken, or the possibility that I was somehow at fault, I chose the latter. This is where the process of shaming of self begins. The Judge is born…
Healing Community
Abandoning out true selves is akin to building our house in our neighbour’s garden. We build those homes, and we decorate them with the love, care, and respect that make us feel safe at the end of the day. We invest in other people, places, and things, evaluating our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. But what many don’t realize is that when we build our homes on a foundation comprising other people, places, and things, we give them the power to make us homeless…
