This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes, again…
The Doors, `The End´ 1967
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
T. S. Elliot – Little Gidding, Part V
Listening to a talk by Michael Meade this week, my attention was drawn to the original meaning of the word `Apocalypse´.
Generally speaking the meaning of this (nowadays emotive) term, with its roots in Old Greek (apokalyptein – „uncover, disclose, reveal,“ from apo „off, away from“ + kalyptein „to cover, conceal,“) refers to `drawing back the veil´ in order to see things differently, perhaps even moving from `perception´ to `vision´, and hence from `illusion´ to `truth´. This rang a bell with me when I remembered what Wayne Dyer used to say about `not seeing the world as it is, but rather as we are´.
The apocalypse is, therefore, neither the biblical nor the Hollywood doomsday scenario of the world coming to a sudden, calamitous end, but rather a transition towards seeing the truth by dropping our perceptions and preconceptions, which can only result in seeing illusions. The modern definition – „belief in an imminent end of the present world“ is from 1858, so is new, in relative terms.
A second strand of meaning is the dynamic of collapse and renewal. The beginning is as immanent in the end, as the end is in the beginning. We are dealing not with the tandem of Life and Death but rather the Trinity of Life, Death and Renewal. One of the definitions of the word `end´, according to Merriam Webster´s, is; `something incomplete, fragmentary, or undersized, the part of something that is left when the other parts are gone´. In this meaning, the end is a remnant or loose end, containing the threads of the new, beginning to emerge.
After a year in lockdown and with the further spread of the Corona virus, where do we stand right now? I catch myself sometimes thinking in terms of `getting back to normal´ and quickly recoil; no, I do not want to go back to the `old normal´, no matter how alluring the sense of the familiar may seem. Yes, I do want to be able to socialise with and hug my family and friends, to travel the world, and to engage in collective creative projects. Of course, these are the ingredients of a fulfilling life.
I do not want to return to a life of `rape and pillage´ of the planet, crass social inequalities, 24/7 dysfunctional media, political oppression, collective addiction, and mass existential alienation on a scale perhaps unknown to humankind before this, our post-modern epoch.
In addition to revealing all the dysfunction listed in above, the Corona pandemic had thrown up some nuggets worthy of closer attention. Just two short decades ago, John O´Donohue wrote beautifully about the human urge (longing) to belong (`be longing´). Over the past twelve months, this yearning for belonging has presented itself to many as the kernel of life, its essence. This realisation has emerged against the odds, despite the thrust of the 24/7 media circus towards sustained stress and tension brough about by a steady fixation on drama. Drama is one of the most potent drugs known to humankind.
We long to visit our grandchildren, to enjoy an all-night rave in otherworldly clubs, to celebrate the art of life and the life of art at concerts and festivals, to walk along the sea shore, to greet our newly-born, celebrate weddings and to bury our dead with love and dignity.
I have long argued that the virus is not a root problem itself, but rather a symptom of a grave problem of broader dimensions, namely the way in which we have been treating our planet. There is, of course, an interdependence between the way we treat our planet and how we treat our selves. Self-care leads to planetary care and vice versa.
Anne Wilson Schaef wrote wonderfully about the addiction dynamic on the collective level (in books such as `The Addictive Organisation´, `The Addictive Society´, etc.), a phenomenon which includes, of course, collective denial. We see it in full force now with the public discourse focussed entirely on case numbers, deaths, vaccines, and social measures to `defeat´ the evil virus, and no mention of the ultimate cause of our problems. In Ireland we would call this `barking up the wrong tree´.
With the focus on all these dramatic facets of current affairs, not to mention the entire gamut of conspiracy theories, core topics such as leading healthy lives, building and maintaining robust immune systems, self-care, care for each other, and care for Creation, all get neatly swept under the carpet. This is collective denial at work.
Back to `be longing´. My own life has taught me that this yearning to belong does indeed exist and is extremely potent. For several decades, I tried to fulfil it with the contents of the world `out there´ – people, places, and things – , as I had been taught by society, all to no avail. Only when I was exhausted, burned out and on the point of despair, did I discover that the only viable way of fulfilling this yearning was to go inside, get to know my self, then discover the Self, and subsequently cultivate a healthy balance between the ego aspect and that of the Great Spirit, or if you prefer, the Divine.
This is no mean feat. It is certainly more comfortable to coast through life on autopilot without having to confront `who I am´ and `why I am here´. If not for that damn potent yearning, the call of purpose, which seemed to rise from the dark depths to puncture the bubble of the comfort zone from time to time! Like Antony de Mello’s story of the eagle chick brought up among hens, being told it was here to peck and scratch but feeling, deep down, that it was really here to soar majestically, rising in the spirals of morning thermal into the great blue skies of freedom.
Some discover these truths on their own. Most of us avail of the help and guidance of others, perhaps a little ahead of us on the path. I could not have planned this journey nor come this far without such help. My eternal gratitude belongs to those who, having availed of assistance themselves, live by the motto of `paying it forward´.
We all know, deep down inside that freedom is our birth right. It takes increasing amounts of consumption, be it power (political, financial, emotional), anti-depressants, social media, news, respectable drugs (i.e. alcohol), street drugs, busyness, food, shopping, etc. to distract our attention from this terrible truth, until we become willing to rise to the challenge of claiming it.
The irony about the state of the world is that it can be changed only from the inside out. When I begin to get to know and care for my self, I get to know and care for my neighbour and, ultimately, all of creation. The `blame game´, also vociferously promoted by the media circus, is yet another form of collective denial. As long as we are stuck there, pointing fingers at each other – we, the good guys, they, the bad guys -, nothing will ever change. It is when we begin to `be the change we wish to see in the world´ (Gandhi) that things begin to shift.
There has been much time for exploration over the last twelve months of lockdown. It has been a golden opportunity for introspection and reflection on what is really important in our lives. Through all the pain, the frustration and dysfunction, the clear realisation of and emboldenment to our birth right – that right to pure freedom, a freedom placed in the service of the greater good, – has shone through. Once this realisation has emerged, it can never be erased from our vision.
These are the remnants with which a new world will be built. It is not the world that has changed. It is something inside. For the plant to grow, the seed must die. When we arrive back where we started, we know the world for the first time.
