Body

I believe, Herr Little, that after a thirty-year absence, it is time for you to return to your body.
Cornelius Metzner, Jungian Analyst and Psychotherapist, ca. 1995

I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together. And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me – spiritually and financially.
Denzel Washington

You have a unique body and mind, with a particular history and conditioning. No one can offer you a formula for navigating all situations and all states of mind. Only by listening inwardly in a fresh and open way will you discern at any given time what most serves your healing and freedom.
Tara Brach

Most people go through life as an `out of body experience.´…. Your awareness is in your head, not really in your body. When you become aware of your body, you activate your PQ Brain region, where your Sage and your Positive Powers live. Your body is therefore the vehicle through which you access your own greatest wisdom, empathy, and peace of mind. Your best mind is activated through body awareness…..
Shirzad Chamine, `Positive Intelligence´ Daily Focus Exercise, Feb 12

For reasons beyond my full comprehension, my childhood self seldom felt comfortable in his body. Of light build, sensitive nature, and suffering from, – as yet uncorrected – impaired vision, I was fearful of physical violence, had a terror of heights, and a horror of ground that would in any way give way under foot.

Even as children, we can be very cruel. Those around me quickly detected my `weaknesses´ and would exploit them for fun and ridicule. This was a difficult cross to bear for a boy growing up in the fundamentalist Catholic Ireland of the sixties and seventies, with seven brothers (there are thankfully also two sisters), attending `boys only´ schools, and indoctrinated in the body shaming which had such prominence in those times.

There was not much to be said in favour of the body. In school, we were taught by Jesuit priests who told us that we were innately defect, born into Original Sin. We could perhaps `earn´ commutation of our sentence of eternal damnation but were surely doomed if we as much as considered listening to the carnal temptations of the body.

My parents, both father and mother, had been brought up in the same ideology, in even stricter form perhaps, such that, for example, it was held to be favourable for the development of character to leave the table still slightly hungry after mealtimes. Corporal punishment was an integral part of this `Weltanschauung´ and there were no inhibitions as to its application, purely for character building purposes of course, especially at school and even sometimes at home.

So, in a boys’ world where sporting prowess was a major yardstick of (self) worth, I drew a blank. Retreating into my self, I was thankful, at least, for the intelligence and quick wit that had been among the cards dealt me at birth. My ability to contribute to household chores, at a level well beyond my years, yielded attention and sometimes even praise. The trouble with this childhood mode of `over-functioning´ is that it brought an ever-increasing workload and set of responsibilities in its wake. The upside is that it was a great early school for leadership, workflow design, and operations; fields for which I developed a passion and skills in my later professional life.

Then came puberty and the shit really hit the fan. It is difficult to fathom how any culture can do such a disservice to its young as witnessed in the Irish Catholic approach to sexuality. But there it was, this twisted combination of the denial of a most sacred and human aspect of our make-up, and fear-based dictates as to how to behave towards oneself and the other young people in our lives. For years I lived in the cold, dark shadow of two mountains: guilt and shame.

In my mid-teens, I began to use alcohol and weed, a development which, while providing some relief in the body-shaming department, was to generate even more guilt and shame over the following two decades. But that is another story.

The first major turning point came with my outright rejection of the teaching of the Catholic Church, and thus the foundation stone of my upbringing. This necessary reset was a rupture which led to alienation, mostly from my elders, and eventually, emigration. Ten years later in Germany, during my first foray into psychoanalysis, my therapist ventured that it was time for me to return to my body. What a novel idea!

I was clueless, however, as to how this could be achieved. He suggested going to the gym. Hanging out at the gym was not my cup of tea but it eventually brought me into contact with members of a cycling club, which I eagerly joined. In my first full year, I racked up 5,000km on my newly acquired racing bike (it had been a birthday present from my then wife)! The re-entry had begun.

One thing led to another. Finding myself in a job that entailed extensive international travel, I bought a pair of running shoes. This was an inspired and courageous move on my part. Running was a hobby that could be embraced and explored alone. Once a level of confidence was achieved, I joined a local team of harriers. Despite knee injuries sustained in my youth, it worked out well and kept me going through yet another pivotal juncture of my adult life; finally getting clean and sober in my early forties.

There followed fourteen marathons in as many years, all done with an eagerness to learn more about how the body works and the joy of successfully pushing my boundaries, year upon year. In fact, physical exercise was one of the elements that saved my sanity in the first weeks and months of my new life. Family life had imploded, the corporate career was over, and the pain of a lifetime’s accumulated unhealed wounds almost unbearable. It was the running and the camaraderie with my running mates that kept me going.

Then came the good fortune of two years of training in applied kinesiology, a subject my new partner had already begun to explore. Kinesiology is known to some as the bodywork which uses the `muscle test´. There is much more to it than that. The basic proposition is that `the body always knows the answers´, meaning that, if consulted in a mindful and respectful manner – using the aforementioned muscle test – it will always show us what anatomical corrections are warranted to overcome current blockades, and, by a simple process of diagnostics, lead us to the next pertinent step in our process of healing and growth.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating, as they say. The importance of bodywork therapy, in contrast to, or rather in combination with talking therapy and a programme of action for recovery, became clear to me during this time.

In response to ongoing practice of breathwork, qigong, yoga, and the like, my body began to undergo a process which can best be described as `thawing´. My visceral sensitivity, the ability to feel and allow my emotions, and the capacity to tune into my intuition greatly increased. The adoption of a healthy vegan diet also helped in this transformation.

As Shirzad Chamine rightly points out, transformation processes are made up of 20% insight and 80% practice. This realisation is manifested in the App-based Positive Intelligence (PQ) Programme for mental fitness. The (mental) fitness studio contained in the App is made up of a broad selection of body-based guided meditations and practices, admeasured in short bursts spread out throughout each day. PQ has taken my embodiment – and therefore my personal and professional development – to an entirely new level.

I love these exercises and, after over 365 continuous days of daily practice, can now feel the benefits in terms of improved physical and mental health, better relationships, increased vitality, higher performance, and peace of mind.

It is a blessing to have this body to help me navigate the wonderful world of matter. For, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin pointed out: `We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience´. This beautiful body of mine forms the bridge between these two realms.