Guilty!
He has stopped running now, got exhausted, ran out of steam, and arrived at a turning point where a decision had to be made. Was it going to be a continuation of the No to life, or an embracing of the Yes. He chose the latter. Turning around to face what he had been avoiding all along, he recognised the wound, the original sin inculcated in his childhood self and later self-perpetuated when he became his own prison guard on death row. The accusation of having been guilty of causing another’s unhappy demise…
Safe At Last
In what could be described as the echo chamber phenomenon, this fear of apparent danger is activated when no such fears are pertinent to the current situation. Today’s situation provides the activation for fears which no longer apply. They have their origin in days long past. These phantoms, these fears from the past will have a hold over us until we address and resolve them. Until that happens we suffer from neurosis. `Neurotic means repetition of archaic ways of protecting ourselves from what no longer truly threatens us´, writes David Richo in his masterful `When Love Meets Fear´.
Astronomical
Finding a free bench in the park outside the village, I settled in for a longer period just before the eclipse reached its climax at ten minutes past noon. Now, totally relaxed and in awe of what was happening, my heart began to fill with gratitude. What a privilege to be able to experience something so superb! As I watched in awe, two contrasting ideas came to mind. The first concerned vastness and infinity. What an amazing notion, to consider that our solar system is at the edge of a galaxy which is only one of between 100 billion and 2 trillion galaxies in the observable universe…
Religious Abuse
Over time, as we heal, we will grow in compassion. This is extended to our biological parents and other caregivers who may have also experienced religious abuse, been hampered in their own experience (or lack thereof) of spirituality, and did not have access to the wide array of recovery resources available to us today. Some of these are innovations, such as trauma therapy, which have been developed in our lifetime. Finding a Power of our understanding, a `Power greater than ourselves´, is essential for long term recovery and real inner transformation….
Hiking
In the exuberance of youth, we had set out to change the world. Now, having reached midlife, we realise that the only person we can change is the one clad in our own skin, while recognising that that change, once manifested, may affect healing, growth, and development among those with whom we interact, one day at a time, if we are willing to share what we find…
Family System
In doing this work, we cannot dodge the old wounds and thus re-feeling the original pain. That is the difficult part. In exploring my family dynamics, it is important to acknowledge the loving kindness that pervaded my family of origin, in conjunction with the systemic dysfunction described below. Many precious gifts were created and shared through this kindness. Wounds are part and parcel of the human experience. It was not for lack of kindness that wounds were inflicted. It was, rather, lack of awareness…
PQ 2.0
It has been shown that our Individual Positive Intelligence Quotient (PQ), i.e., the ratio between positive and negative emotions on a typical day, has a direct influence on how stress-resistant we are and how much, or how little, of our real potential we manifest in our professional activities, relationships, families, and private lives. If we have three positive thoughts for every negative one, we have a PQ of 75. Anything above 75 is considered beneficial in terms of sustaining growth as we move towards achieving our true full potential…
Bully
There are no doubts in my mind that, on occasion, I also behaved in the same monstrous way towards others, especially those smaller than me. Children can be very cruel to each other. This cruelty gets played out if our caregivers are not sufficiently present and tuned into what is going on. Under such circumstances, they can’t protect the children, whenever necessary, from hurting each other. This lack of awareness and presence on the part of the adults is probably due to the untended childhood wounds they, themselves, still carry…
Mercy
This experience was very much influenced by the prevailing image of a punitive God, all rules, and no mercy. I imagined the delinquent (me) kneeling before a fierce figure of authority (God) pleading for mercy in the hope of averting the worst degree of punishment (eternal damnation in hell), which was of course deserved, in the light of my unworthiness and the scourge of Original Sin. If this sounds dramatic, it was. Remember, these signals were being picked up by the ears, heart, and imagination of a very young child.
Discovery
As we learn later in life, happiness cannot ever be attained. Happiness is a by-product of being who we truly are and embracing what happens. The more we strive for it, the further it slips from our grasp. This increases our frustration, and we simply try harder by applying more effort. Now we find ourselves in a self-perpetuating vicious cycle. The fact that a further eight billion people are all playing the same game, exacerbates things…
