The Diabolical
A recent experience has had a lasting impression on me. The East Bank of the Rhein has been my home now for almost two full years. The closest bridges in the vicinity are the North Bridge in Bonn, over 10 km upstream and the South Bridge in Cologne, roughly the same distance downstream. These distances are a blessing, resulting in an oasis of river meadows which are relatively free of noise pollution. There is a pedestrian ferry about twenty minutes’ walk downstream from home. I had taken it once and had gone further downstream to explore the forest of the Surther Bend, which turned out to be verdant and tranquil. On this latest occasion, I crossed the river with the explicit intention of taking a closer look at the bank directly opposite where I live, the bank I have been keenly observing on a daily basis since I first moved here.
Every Breath A New Beginning
I live on one of the great European rivers. It is, indeed, a blessing to live within five minutes’ walk of the flowing torrent, one of the main arteries of our beautiful continent. At high water, the barges can even be seen from my desk here where I write, moving back and forth on their […]
Truth And Compassion
While attending a silent (vipassana), week-long meditation retreat many years ago, my upper back and shoulders filled with so much pain on day two that I decided to ask for a short meeting with the facilitator. My intention was to inform him that, due to the excruciating pain, I was going to drop out early and go home…
Ego
When working with people who have decided to make major changes in their lives in the context of giving up behaviors which, though clearly detrimental to themselves and those they love, they seem to have great difficulty in leaving behind on a permanent basis, the phenomenon of the ego invariably arises. These people often find themselves baffled by their own destructive behaviors which, unlike many other areas of their lives, seem immune to the direction of their often very substantial willpower.
`Playing God´
`You need to quit playing God!´ This is what I heard more than once in my early years of recovery from alcoholism. It precipitated an undifferentiated jolt, like an earthquake deep under the sea bed, although the meaning of the statement, and the associated possible consequences, went way over my head. Perhaps I did not want to understand.
Apocalypse Now
Generally speaking the meaning of this (nowadays emotive) term, with its roots in Old Greek (apokalyptein – “uncover, disclose, reveal,” from apo “off, away from” + kalyptein “to cover, conceal,”) refers to `drawing back the veil´ in order to see things differently, perhaps even moving from `perception´ to `vision´, and hence from `illusion´ to `truth´. This rang a bell with me when I remembered what Wayne Dyer used to say about `not seeing the world as it is, but rather as we are´
Daily Structure
The issue of boredom came up in a conversation during the week. A young friend was complaining about it, saying that he was plagued by the long days in lockdown, feeling depleted and guilty about how he was squandering his time. Only later in the day, long after we had parted, did it hit me that the real issue was apathy, a topic not often discussed.
“Apathy is the belief, `I can´t´. It is the feeling that we cannot do anything about our situation and no one else can help. It is hopelessness and helplessness.´´ Thus writes David Hawkings in his magnum opus `Letting Go´
Paradox
While it is true that the spiritual path is open to everybody, not everybody follows the call. Some never even get to hear the call. This remains one of the great mysteries, to be simply accepted as a characteristic of the human condition.
Our True Element
For most of my life, I fell prey to the very widespread illusion that the cause of all my problems is ‘out there’. In practical terms, it unfolds roughly as follows: Whenever I experienced `irritation´ in the world `out there´ (when my plans fell through, when I didn’t get my way, regretted the past, feared the future, or when I adjuged that I was being treated unjustly of unfairly, etc.), I reacted by exerting more force to `kick the world into shape´. Despite my heroic efforts, it rarely worked.
Imbolc
Despite having lived in Continental Europe for decades, my inner clock still marks time as I first encountered the concept in my Irish childhood. While, in early adulthood, the hard Bavarian winters often froze our garden pond from early December through to late March, my soul would begin to yearn for the first flashes of colour even before January came to an end. The snowdrops, crocuses and narcissi spung up before my mind’s eye, causing a palpable perception of temporal misalignment between the inner and outer worlds.
