Fasting
In hindsight, I see that all me daemons (Saboteurs) had come out to play, preying upon my existential fears (future) and criticising me for not better preparing my new business venture, which had not been unfolding as my optimism had declared it should have (past). This is a classic example of a stance of resistance to `what is´, the main source of suffering for all of humankind…
Generational Trauma
For example, the facilitator would ask the client to give a summary of the topic that she hoped to resolve and would then ask her to select, from the participants (many people had never met each other before), people to represent themselves, their mother, father, grandparents, siblings, etc – those people considered to be most relevant to the work at hand. The client didn’t participate actively in the constellation, but rather worked from the side lines in tandem with the facilitator…
Body
Ten years later in Germany, during my first foray into psychoanalysis, my therapist ventured that it was time for me to return to my body. What a novel idea! I was clueless, however, as to how this could be achieved. He suggested going to the gym. Hanging out at the gym was not my cup of tea but it eventually brought me into contact with members of a cycling club, which I eagerly joined. In my first full year, I racked up 5,000km on my newly acquired racing bike! The re-entry had begun…
Expansiveness
I am reminded of the image of a group of famished people sitting around a huge cauldron of soup with only spoons of ridiculous length at their disposal. Far longer than a human arm, they make it impossible to feed oneself. Then one person gets the bright idea that they should each feed the person opposite. In this manner an individual problem is solved by means of a collective solution. All are ultimately satiated…
Transference
Carl Gustav Jung, one of the founding figures of depth psychology and psychotherapy, referred to the integration of supressed aspects of our personalities as `Shadow Work´, the idea being that, as we emerge from childhood, we consign those aspects of our history, thinking, and behaviour which we find unpalatable, to the shadows, in the hope that they would somehow be rendered harmless or even disappear…
Dynamo
This prompted ideas about the various forms of energy, and the smooth conversion from one to the other, we humans require to operate well at full potential. Physical, emotional, and spiritual are three that come to mind. In everyday life, if at all, emphasis is placed on the physical, in terms of physical health, and that generally only after something has gone wrong. The approach taken by the culture now shaped by the medical-industrial complex is similar to how we approach the mechanics of a car. We break down, find the broken element, replace it, and hope for the best.
Adaptability
One day, however, at the age of eleven or twelve, I left home on a Sunday evening, ostensibly to go to evening mass, but with the conscious intention of putting the contention to the test. Honestly, I waited for a while, petrified, for a bolt of lightning to strike me from the heavens. When that did not occur, there was a great sense of relief. My adventure could now really begin!
Spontaneity
Watching very young children at play is a gratifying experience. When they feel safe and find themselves `in the zone´, there is no end to their creativity and spontaneity. They exude an air of vitality and freedom, both inspiring and infectious.
When was the last time I felt like this?
Mother
Even very early on, our relationship was challenging. I’m not sure what it was. Perhaps the cause of our initial difficulties lie in those earlies of days, beyond the boundaries of cognizant memory. One of the first things that stands out in my conscious recollections is her habit of shouting. She seemed to operate like a control tower for her ten children, doing her best to protect and coordinate them, regardless of location in or around our sprawling home, and simply turned up the volume, without altering her position, when the desired response was not forthcoming…
Meditation
I am in no doubt that my mind’s proclivity to wander has been the cause of much of the suffering I have generated throughout my life, for my self and others. The harm that has resulted from this suffering has had the greatest impact on those closest to me; harming those we hold most dear in life is one of the most cruel ironies of the human condition…
