Photography
Like my seven brothers, I was keen and spent much of my time there on the river; sometimes for twelve hours or more on days after a night’s rain, eagerly practising the craft taught me in childhood by my father, who learnt it from his, etc. To my consternation, I was not as good, by far, as some other members of the family, and often felt under pressure to prove myself in the strange ways of unwritten family codes…
Meditation
I am in no doubt that my mind’s proclivity to wander has been the cause of much of the suffering I have generated throughout my life, for my self and others. The harm that has resulted from this suffering has had the greatest impact on those closest to me; harming those we hold most dear in life is one of the most cruel ironies of the human condition…
Entitlement
The second envelope got me curious. There had been several items of post from Corsica since my accident there on holiday in mid-July; invoices, medical records and confirmations of payment, all of which were required in the on-going process of recouping most of my co-payments for the hospital care provided there. That professional treatment for serious spinal injuries may indeed have saved my life; it certainly safeguarded my mobility – the ability to move my arms and legs, without which life would be very different today…
Surrender
All addictive patterns have in common the issue of control; the obsession with establishing, retaining, and losing control. The drinker steps into the pub `for one´ on the way home and finds herself still at the bar at midnight, the family at home long forgotten. The workaholic swears that he will move down a few gears after the current project is handed over, only to wonder, years later, what happened to such resolutions. What is required is the surrender to the impossibility of control. This is a bitter pill to swallow for anybody brought up to `get a grip´ on life and, when things get difficult, to `pull yourself up by your boot straps´.
