Refraining
Deeper layers of motivation emerged from my shadow. It was clear to me how, since childhood, many adult interactions had been governed by the righteous, justified anger hidden in my shadow. Once revealed, this too can be consciously relinquished (rather than repressed). This is a good example of the ongoing work of spiritual fitness, as defined in both the Twelve Steps and PQ…
Emotional Sobriety
As these recovery fellowships mature, we are now moving to the `both, and..´ perspective with respect to exploring the scientific and spiritual aspects of the root causes of addiction and in drawing upon modern and recently developed resources to augment the Twelve Steps as we implement the solution. These resources may include Jung’s work on Archetypes, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, Trauma therapy modalities such as EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, PQ Mental Fitness, Inner Child work, Kinesiology, etc., to name only a few…
God
Basic elements of reality which we, through our culture, collectively attempt to deny include the facts that we are all going to die, that everything is impermanent, that we have no control over much of what occurs in life, and that there is, beyond what we recognise we do not know, a vast amount of knowledge of which we are not aware that we do not know. We are blind to our own blind spots…
Grief
Grieving simply involves allowing repressed feeling to percolate up to the surface and sitting with them, without analysis or judgement, until, after some time, the emerged energy dissipates. Repetitions usually beckon. With each wave, the emotional thrust weakens in strength, as when the tide is going out.
In this gentle interaction, an important shift occurs. We have the feelings without the feelings having us.
Control
The whole concept of control is an illusion. Yet we keep this truth under wraps for long stretches of our lives as we move forward in autopilot. Only when we experience setbacks, – a loved one dies, a partner leaves us, our career plans crash, a book manuscript is rejected, an illness or accident knocks on the door, or we find ourselves in the grip of an addictive dynamic we cannot escape, etc. – are we summarily awakened to the reality of the unmanageability of life…
Coaching
As a coach, I can ask myself how my saboteurs prevent me from being a true coach and cause me to tell, direct, or advise in many situations where coaching would be more beneficial and effective. It is also true that when the coach is caught up in Saboteur energies, these will spill over to the client, with detrimental effect. This is called saboteur contagion. Sage contagion is the preferable option…
Primal Wounds
The reactivation of the wound can be best described using the following analogy: If, upon meeting a person, we firmly shake hands, and one or both of us has a tender, open wound in our palm, the encounter will be painful. The pain is not intentionally stimulated; it is a by-product of the encounter combined with a lack of awareness. It is not caused, per se, by the encounter; the cause lies in the fact that the already existing wound in the palm of the hand has not yet healed. Until it has, each new encounter will be painful…
Sun
The dilemma is made up of two parts. Firstly, we have a mind that needs to drink and a body that can’t. Secondly, when we start drinking, we can’t stop, and when we stop, we can’t stay stopped. It’s a real Catch 22. We are caught up in what medical folks today call an `impulse control disorder´. We cannot think our way out of it, nor can the trap be sprung using willpower alone. As Einstein pointed out, the consciousness that created the problem cannot be consciousness that solves the problem. We need to go higher – in terms of frequency, – ergo `Higher Power´…
In Transition
This suspended animation may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger since the earliest days of childhood. In some ways, these feelings have protected us from the deeper, underlying pain of abandonment. As the lesser of two evils, they served an important purpose and may now have become comfortably familiar. They have protected us from the process of grieving our deepest wounds. There is, however, no short cut through the topography of grieving, no easier softer way. It needs to be traversed with conscious awareness, step by step, the path leading through the portal of true recovery. With empathy for self, others, and circumstances we can get there…
Sober Living with PQ
At SoberOasis, I provide on-going guidance, mental fitness training, practical assistance, and encouragement, as you initiate or reboot your recovery or build the bridge between formal treatment for addiction and the challenges of re-integration into everyday life. Successful transformation processes comprise 20% insights and 80% practice. In recognition of this, we immediately establish an App-supported Mental Fitness practice over an initial period of 8 weeks. This forms the foundation on which further inner work and a life of sustained sobriety is built, free from alcohol, other toxic substances, and/or process addictions…