Mercy
This experience was very much influenced by the prevailing image of a punitive God, all rules, and no mercy. I imagined the delinquent (me) kneeling before a fierce figure of authority (God) pleading for mercy in the hope of averting the worst degree of punishment (eternal damnation in hell), which was of course deserved, in the light of my unworthiness and the scourge of Original Sin. If this sounds dramatic, it was. Remember, these signals were being picked up by the ears, heart, and imagination of a very young child.
Grief
Grieving simply involves allowing repressed feeling to percolate up to the surface and sitting with them, without analysis or judgement, until, after some time, the emerged energy dissipates. Repetitions usually beckon. With each wave, the emotional thrust weakens in strength, as when the tide is going out.
In this gentle interaction, an important shift occurs. We have the feelings without the feelings having us.
Discovery
As we learn later in life, happiness cannot ever be attained. Happiness is a by-product of being who we truly are and embracing what happens. The more we strive for it, the further it slips from our grasp. This increases our frustration, and we simply try harder by applying more effort. Now we find ourselves in a self-perpetuating vicious cycle. The fact that a further eight billion people are all playing the same game, exacerbates things…
Deep Roots
Most of us have not had a perfect childhood, with a mother and father who modelled ideal parental attitudes and taught us to the basics of self-love. Our parents did not have such modelling themselves and so had to improvise as they went along. In my case, both had come from very large families where the stresses and tensions of unresolved childhood trauma pervaded the familial energy field. My impression, formed very early on, was that I had arrived as an added burden, that it was essential not to compound the already existing load my parents were carrying…
Sober Living with PQ
At SoberOasis, I provide on-going guidance, mental fitness training, practical assistance, and encouragement, as you initiate or reboot your recovery or build the bridge between formal treatment for addiction and the challenges of re-integration into everyday life. Successful transformation processes comprise 20% insights and 80% practice. In recognition of this, we immediately establish an App-supported Mental Fitness practice over an initial period of 8 weeks. This forms the foundation on which further inner work and a life of sustained sobriety is built, free from alcohol, other toxic substances, and/or process addictions…
Parentification
With parentification comes self-abandonment. The child who experiences parentification is asked to make countless sacrifices for others – the sacrifice of her own mental health, innocence, and physical well-being, just to ensure the adults in the family stayed afloat. In this process, boundaries are constantly eroded. We children in such circumstances never develop a sense of our own welfare as we are forced to abandon ourselves and our own needs just to survive and prioritize others, especially those on whom we still very much depend…
Comfort
When, during morning meditation, childhood feelings percolate, my adult self and Inner Child aspect confer. Together, we look at and feel the emotional states that bubble up from memory. The adult me simply remains present, extending the embrace of kinship to the child experiencing fear, pain, grief, or joy, — whatever transpires. This process, — referred to as `re-parenting´, — allows the lifetime reservoir of pent-up, unattended feelings to drain at its own pace, a pace which allows their attendance in a healthy, healing manner…
Rewilding the Spirit
Instead, with recovery over time, we come to the realization that nobody, no relationship, no success, no shining toy, is coming to rescue us and heal what’s broken on the inside. In this new-found clarity it dawns on us that we already have our very own garden which contains everything we have been seeking and all we need. That garden has always been waiting for us. An inside job beckons…
Misfortune
In the cultivation of emotional sobriety, we first become the witness to our own patterns of thinking and feeling. This is achieved by taking inventory of self. We then learn that we can have our feelings without our feelings having, (i.e., controlling) us. We come to realise that there is a gap between impulse and riposte, and that we can begin to work with, and gradually take up conscious residence in, that gap…
Leverage
While wisdom had accrued on how to protect crops using natural methods, the concept of applying synthetic toxins in the process of growing food had not yet emerged. It was a niche which began to be exploited by the chemical industry as soon as the markets of World War II abruptly began to fall away. It was at this point that the focal point of food was moved from the soil and the kitchen to the laboratory…
