Free Will
The pertinent question today is the one which addresses my degree of willingness to wake up to the reality of life as it is right now, in the present moment, to accept the mixed bag of wounds and gifts that have accumulated over time, and to embrace the opportunity to heal the old wounds while cultivating and further developing the gifts. Herein lies my free will…
Getting Unstuck
When I got into the car and attempted to reverse out onto the paved lane, there was a rude awakening. The back wheels simply spun on the spot. Zero traction. There I am, facing downhill on a 15% slope, unable to reverse out. I was stuck…
Nostalgia
With the help of loved-ones, mentors, and wise teachers, I learned to see through this illusion and to differentiate between pain and suffering, no easy task for one who grew up in a kind of hieroglyphics world, where real things or emotions were never said or done or even thought, but only ever expressed by proxy. Slammed doors and the rolling of eyes count among the more obvious clues…
Falling Apart
Moreover, in an effort to `compensate´ for our parents’ shortcomings, we may have manifested adult levels of maturity far too early in life. While I certainly cultivated strengths such as organisational skills, self-reliance, and independence along the way ― strengths that have served me well in many situations as an adult, ― having to be the emotionally mature person in my relationship with my parent was confusing and has left wounds in its wake…
Turning Points
Acting out the addiction solves the problem of life’s unbearability, that unbearable feeling of being in our own skin. It is a solution that works. However, as it gathers pace and becomes the driving force in our lives, we become increasingly unable to see the unfurling of its destruction. The deeper we dig ourselves into a hole, the less capable we become of seeing that we are in a hole. Denial and delusion each play a role in this…
Gifts
`Flow´ is the state in which we are so engrossed in an activity that we lose all track of time. This is not to be confused with the state of `zoning out´ as many of us do when watching Netflix series or scrolling endlessly on social media. How do we tell the difference? After activities carried out in flow, we feel energised and have a sense of gratitude and accomplishment. This is what I feel after a period of gardening, coaching, writing, or dancing.
Burnout
Even siblings who have grown up together can have very different gifts. One may have a love of animals while another gets a gift for storytelling or music. Another may develop her gift of providing loving service to those in need, while yet another develops the ability to make sense of complexity and convey important insights in a gentle, inviting, and comprehensible manner…
Befriending Life
I had taken up a stance of resistance to life because things had not been working out as originally envisaged. It seemed that every move of mine was being counter-acted by an invisible opponent who was simply trying to make things as difficult as possible. That, of course, was my Victim Saboteur…
Setbacks
It seems that many of us are like the Japanese holdouts, soldiers, many of whom were discovered in the jungles of Southeast Asia and the Pacific over the decades following the end of World War II in 1945, who, due to their remote locations, had not gotten word that the war was over. The last verified holdout, Private Terou Nakamura, surrendered on the island of Morotai in 1974. We are still fighting the war of our childhood and the bombardment we face is that of the Saboteurs. We originally developed these as tools of survival. In that respect they have served us well. The question today is: `Are they still serving us well?´…
Disconnection
Loss of meaning is yet another widespread social phenomenon and an affliction of the modern workplace. In his latest book, `The Myth of Normal,´ (page 290), Gabor Maté writes that: Just 30% of employees in the US feel engaged at work, according to a 2013 report by Gallup; across 142 countries, the proportion of employees who feel engaged at work is only 13%.
`For most of us, work is a depleting, dispiriting experience, and in some obvious ways, it’s getting worse,´ wrote two leading economic consultants in the New York Times.´ Draw your own conclusions…
