Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.
Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:
Sie erhalten dann jede Woche zukünftige Ausgaben direkt per E-Mail. Bitte teilen Sie den Link auch in Ihrem eigenen Freundes- und Mitarbeiterkreis.
Schließlich sind Feedback und Kommentare immer sehr willkommen. Ich wünsche viel Genuß bei der Lektüre!
Basic elements of reality which we, through our culture, collectively attempt to deny include the facts that we are all going to die, that everything is impermanent, that we have no control over much of what occurs in life, and that there is, beyond what we recognise we do not know, a vast amount of knowledge of which we are not aware that we do not know. We are blind to our own blind spots…
There are no doubts in my mind that, on occasion, I also behaved in the same monstrous way towards others, especially those smaller than me. Children can be very cruel to each other. This cruelty gets played out if our caregivers are not sufficiently present and tuned into what is going on. Under such circumstances, they can’t protect the children, whenever necessary, from hurting each other. This lack of awareness and presence on the part of the adults is probably due to the untended childhood wounds they, themselves, still carry…
This experience was very much influenced by the prevailing image of a punitive God, all rules, and no mercy. I imagined the delinquent (me) kneeling before a fierce figure of authority (God) pleading for mercy in the hope of averting the worst degree of punishment (eternal damnation in hell), which was of course deserved, in the light of my unworthiness and the scourge of Original Sin. If this sounds dramatic, it was. Remember, these signals were being picked up by the ears, heart, and imagination of a very young child.
Grieving simply involves allowing repressed feeling to percolate up to the surface and sitting with them, without analysis or judgement, until, after some time, the emerged energy dissipates. Repetitions usually beckon. With each wave, the emotional thrust weakens in strength, as when the tide is going out.
In this gentle interaction, an important shift occurs. We have the feelings without the feelings having us.
As we learn later in life, happiness cannot ever be attained. Happiness is a by-product of being who we truly are and embracing what happens. The more we strive for it, the further it slips from our grasp. This increases our frustration, and we simply try harder by applying more effort. Now we find ourselves in a self-perpetuating vicious cycle. The fact that a further eight billion people are all playing the same game, exacerbates things…
The whole concept of control is an illusion. Yet we keep this truth under wraps for long stretches of our lives as we move forward in autopilot. Only when we experience setbacks, – a loved one dies, a partner leaves us, our career plans crash, a book manuscript is rejected, an illness or accident knocks on the door, or we find ourselves in the grip of an addictive dynamic we cannot escape, etc. – are we summarily awakened to the reality of the unmanageability of life…
Without uncovering, subsequently befriending, and tending this wound – the Greek word is trauma – we will be hampered in all subsequent efforts to establish intimacy in human relations. Because when we open our hearts completely, we are stepping into the unknown and giving another person access to the most vulnerable parts of ourselves. There is always a chance of getting hurt, rejected, ridiculed, humiliated, of being misunderstood, or abandoned, once again…
One further point is important in this respect. This is the danger of premature or simply rational forgiveness. This is `pseudo forgiveness´, a form of spiritual bypassing. It occurs when we return to the past, to attend inner wounds, this time not shielded by intoxication but by our still intact invulnerability. We thus protect ourselves from truly remembering and re-feeling the original pain. Instead of healing the old wounds, this approach simply masks them, thereby exacting a high price.
As a coach, I can ask myself how my saboteurs prevent me from being a true coach and cause me to tell, direct, or advise in many situations where coaching would be more beneficial and effective. It is also true that when the coach is caught up in Saboteur energies, these will spill over to the client, with detrimental effect. This is called saboteur contagion. Sage contagion is the preferable option…
The reactivation of the wound can be best described using the following analogy: If, upon meeting a person, we firmly shake hands, and one or both of us has a tender, open wound in our palm, the encounter will be painful. The pain is not intentionally stimulated; it is a by-product of the encounter combined with a lack of awareness. It is not caused, per se, by the encounter; the cause lies in the fact that the already existing wound in the palm of the hand has not yet healed. Until it has, each new encounter will be painful…
I like the story about Mother Teresa being once asked by a young journalist to describe her daily prayer and meditation practice.
„I simply sit in silence and pray“, she answered with clarity.
„What do you say?“, asked the journalist, intrigued.
„Oh, I say nothing. I simply listen to God.“ she replied.
„And what does God say? “ asked the journalist, sniffing a sensation…
„God doesn’t say anything, either,“ responded the old nun with a smile. „God simply listens also.“
„If you have never had the experience, nobody can explain it to you,“ she then finished, bowed courteously, and went on her way…
„A miracle is a shift from fear to love,“ states Marianne Williamson in her commentary on „A Course In Miracles“. That shift, and the awareness of how it can be achieved, is now spreading through recovery communities like wildfire. By recovery communities, I mean the movement originally spawned by a bunch of alcoholics in New York City and Akron, Ohio in the late 1930’s which eventually spread around the world as Alcoholics Anonymous. Now, with membership in the millions, there are over 200 fellowships dealing with the plethora of addictions which plague humanity, such as Workaholism, Food Addiction, Gambling, and most recently, Media Addiction, to mention but a few…
Whenever I find myself alone among strangers in a dance class for couples to learn something like foxtrot, a feeling of distress begins to arise, with accelerated heartbeat, increased sweating, and light nausea, such that I generally leave before the real action begins. I console myself with the thoughts of how much I like dancing solo in a crowd, and even with fantasies that, one fine day, a beautiful partner will have sufficient patience and loving kindness to be able and willing to bear with me as I gradually master the moves, the rhythm, and the coordinated steps…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
